"Anything good or worth remembering here"? That's everything, Sakyou.
[He scoffs at that, incredulous. But all of this, hearing every word - again, it makes him wonder if this is what people hear when they talk to him. The endless gaping yaw of despair, or feeling you're never good enough.]
[Mandricardo begins to speak, but his breath hitches, and he has to collect himself. It's amazing, to hear that Sakyou is someone who enjoys him, as a friend, as someone close to him that understands him. But is it enough, for Sakyou? It can't be enough.]
...You're afraid you'll ruin it. [He says, dimly, his eyes staring down in between them.] That you'll take more, and ruin it.
[He's biting back tears now, over the rush of blood in his ears.]
Y-You don't think I'm scared of the same thing, huh? To even...ask this of you, is...I thought you'd say no to me, honestly. Because even now, I don't see myself as worthy enough. But damn it, I want to be worthy enough. Even if it was...just my feelings, and I never got anything in return, I'd be happy. Knowing I would give you something. Servants live and die for others.
[They're like candles, held up by someone desperate, someone wanting, a way to try to illuminate the darkness around them, right...? Isn't that what a Servant does?]
I know you're scared. I'm scared. But what are we going to do, just stay in the same place and die miserable? I don't want that for you. I want to save you from that path, even if you think that's the only path you deserve.
[He grits his teeth.]
But I'll walk down that path with you if you think that's the only option left. I don't care. What is there left to ruin, huh?
no subject
"Anything good or worth remembering here"? That's everything, Sakyou.
[He scoffs at that, incredulous. But all of this, hearing every word - again, it makes him wonder if this is what people hear when they talk to him. The endless gaping yaw of despair, or feeling you're never good enough.]
[Mandricardo begins to speak, but his breath hitches, and he has to collect himself. It's amazing, to hear that Sakyou is someone who enjoys him, as a friend, as someone close to him that understands him. But is it enough, for Sakyou? It can't be enough.]
...You're afraid you'll ruin it. [He says, dimly, his eyes staring down in between them.] That you'll take more, and ruin it.
[He's biting back tears now, over the rush of blood in his ears.]
Y-You don't think I'm scared of the same thing, huh? To even...ask this of you, is...I thought you'd say no to me, honestly. Because even now, I don't see myself as worthy enough. But damn it, I want to be worthy enough. Even if it was...just my feelings, and I never got anything in return, I'd be happy. Knowing I would give you something. Servants live and die for others.
[They're like candles, held up by someone desperate, someone wanting, a way to try to illuminate the darkness around them, right...? Isn't that what a Servant does?]
I know you're scared. I'm scared. But what are we going to do, just stay in the same place and die miserable? I don't want that for you. I want to save you from that path, even if you think that's the only path you deserve.
[He grits his teeth.]
But I'll walk down that path with you if you think that's the only option left. I don't care. What is there left to ruin, huh?
I'll give myself freely to you. Every inch of me.