[I'M AN INNOCENT AKI WHO IS TIRED OF KILLING LET ME LIVE kill sakyou though
In any case, his head inclines gently. Now that his hand is free, he reaches out to tap Mandricardo's shoulder once, soft, and then rests his palm there for a moment. He doesn't say anything in response, but there's a bit of gratitude in his expression.
It's a little sad though, how Bradley ended up kind of shunted to the side in the face of so many people liking Rupert. He also likes sweet Rupert, but the entire situation is a complex mess and he's Still the kind of person who thinks everyone should take responsibility for their actions, regardless of what prompted them. Messy feelings...]
Bradley was...nice to me. Really nice to me. He had a partner back home who he said...was pretty similar to me.
[A sigh, as he sips at his drink.]
Rupert on the other hand...was also pretty nice. And that's what makes it hard to picture him as some big murderer. But...murder he did. Maybe even more than once.
...He did. He was involved in Wangji-san's murder as well - or so he's claimed. [And like damn he doesn't know why a lad would lie about that, so for now, he's choosing to believe it.]
Bain-san's death is a death. A loss is a loss. When one takes a life, they must be prepared to pay for it in kind. But I would say that it's clear something more is at play here now, at least.
Yeah. I think so, too. His hands were still red with what he had done. But what it also means is that some of us...likely are in the know. Maybe there's a whole team out there, and they're just...deciding who to kill next.
[His expression is grim.]
I don't like the feeling of that. Of knowin' there might be people who are just lying to my face, even if it is...because they have no choice, otherwise.
Anyway, everything Mandricardo says hits home with him, honestly. Even understanding that it might be a situation out of their control, that this hypothetical group might not have any real choice in the matter...]
...I find it very difficult to trust people. [He says it quietly, moving to slip his hand away from Mandricardo's.] It's the most difficult thing for me, so I understand what you mean. Knowing that they may have no choice doesn't negate the fact that they still lie to avoid suspicion. That they would and will continue to lie, if it means reaching whatever their aim is. That destroys one's ability to trust anyone here freely.
[Or maybe he's just paranoid and pessimistic, either way.]
I'm not the type to just distrust anyone and everyone, but...in situations like this, it makes it hard to just approach everyone in full faith and say "yeah, this guy wouldn't kill". Especially after Rupert.
[He sighs.]
I want to believe people are good, is the thing. And people have said to me today that, like, we shouldn't fall into distrust, since that will destroy us all. But people murdered. And I just hope...they aren't tryin' to justify it to themselves, if the reason isn't "they were literally forced against their will to do this".
Any form of taking a life will result in attempts at justifying it, I think. That's the nature of things. Of people.
[Or again, maybe he's pessimistic. But almost everyone has justifications for why they do what they do, regardless of what that may be.]
...Distrusting everyone could become a hurdle for us. That much is true. But I don't think it's foolish to keep one's guard raised, when people have killed and will kill again, and would lie to one's face about it.
[Now they're just two depressed lads being sad about the cruel reality of not being able to trust anyone in a murdergame. Tragique.]
A matter of survival, I suppose. [He says it with resignation and some tiredness, but he's not surprised. He's never trusted easily, anyway.] ...This place truly is cruel in many ways.
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In any case, his head inclines gently. Now that his hand is free, he reaches out to tap Mandricardo's shoulder once, soft, and then rests his palm there for a moment. He doesn't say anything in response, but there's a bit of gratitude in his expression.
Then:] Were you close with him? Rupert.
[Or is he just An Emotional Lad.]
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[His free hand goes up to rest on the other's hand, gently, but with that gentle touch comes a troubled, sort of frustrated expression.]
I mean, we talked a bit, but...overall I was just...thinkin' about Bradley, mostly.
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It's a little sad though, how Bradley ended up kind of shunted to the side in the face of so many people liking Rupert. He also likes sweet Rupert, but the entire situation is a complex mess and he's Still the kind of person who thinks everyone should take responsibility for their actions, regardless of what prompted them. Messy feelings...]
I didn't speak with him very often, myself...
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[A sigh, as he sips at his drink.]
Rupert on the other hand...was also pretty nice. And that's what makes it hard to picture him as some big murderer. But...murder he did. Maybe even more than once.
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...He did. He was involved in Wangji-san's murder as well - or so he's claimed. [And like damn he doesn't know why a lad would lie about that, so for now, he's choosing to believe it.]
Bain-san's death is a death. A loss is a loss. When one takes a life, they must be prepared to pay for it in kind. But I would say that it's clear something more is at play here now, at least.
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[Wow. Wow...]
Yeah. I think so, too. His hands were still red with what he had done. But what it also means is that some of us...likely are in the know. Maybe there's a whole team out there, and they're just...deciding who to kill next.
[His expression is grim.]
I don't like the feeling of that. Of knowin' there might be people who are just lying to my face, even if it is...because they have no choice, otherwise.
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Anyway, everything Mandricardo says hits home with him, honestly. Even understanding that it might be a situation out of their control, that this hypothetical group might not have any real choice in the matter...]
...I find it very difficult to trust people. [He says it quietly, moving to slip his hand away from Mandricardo's.] It's the most difficult thing for me, so I understand what you mean. Knowing that they may have no choice doesn't negate the fact that they still lie to avoid suspicion. That they would and will continue to lie, if it means reaching whatever their aim is. That destroys one's ability to trust anyone here freely.
[Or maybe he's just paranoid and pessimistic, either way.]
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[He nods at that.]
I'm not the type to just distrust anyone and everyone, but...in situations like this, it makes it hard to just approach everyone in full faith and say "yeah, this guy wouldn't kill". Especially after Rupert.
[He sighs.]
I want to believe people are good, is the thing. And people have said to me today that, like, we shouldn't fall into distrust, since that will destroy us all. But people murdered. And I just hope...they aren't tryin' to justify it to themselves, if the reason isn't "they were literally forced against their will to do this".
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[Or again, maybe he's pessimistic. But almost everyone has justifications for why they do what they do, regardless of what that may be.]
...Distrusting everyone could become a hurdle for us. That much is true. But I don't think it's foolish to keep one's guard raised, when people have killed and will kill again, and would lie to one's face about it.
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[He sets his jaw in a serious look. Sakyou is right.]
Yeah. Especially since we don't know...the truth. I hate to think 'bout it, but...that's how it should be.
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A matter of survival, I suppose. [He says it with resignation and some tiredness, but he's not surprised. He's never trusted easily, anyway.] ...This place truly is cruel in many ways.