[ I was about to say I can't, but realised I technically can, but there's no memory that would actually make all this make more sense immediately so now I am fishing for mem opportunities. ]
[dfh NO I MEAN THE MEMORY MANDI SAW FOR MEMSHARE sometimes you see a lizard kill a man for not knowing who the man in your mouth is and then he's like I KNOW NOW]
[ Caiman raises a hand to his eyes -- though that's not like that's actually going to help him see this shit. But his expression clearly has a tinge of 'what?' to it. ]
[ God sorry this took so long I just could not find the damn right chapter no matter how hard I tried, but here we go! ]
I don't really know a whole lot about them [ yet ] but... they're a gang, in the Sorcerer's World. Weak guys... they sell black powder, which I think is some kinda drug.
[ ...He slowly shakes his head though. ] But I don't know if I was a part of them, I -- I don't think so?
[ And then -- Mandy will get a memory. It looks strange, like trying to look at it through bloody water, different from the first memory Mandy got. There's a shady building, and one, massive guy with blond spiky hair steps out of it with a suitcase. Another man, just about equally as large, stands up to greet him.
'Risu,' he calls out.
'Sorry, mate. I can't take you along today. I gotta head to Salmanazar Field alone.'
The other man quiets, staring contemplatively for a moment. His mask obscures his expression.
'Salmanazar Field... okay. But be careful, Risu. The Cross-Eyes can't be trusted... if you get in trouble, call me.'
He gets up and begins to walk away.
'You know you can count on me...'
---
And as he walks away, the memory fades with it. Leaving them both back to reality, and a vaguely surprised Caiman -- though he's quick to scowl a bit. ]
The guy in my mouth is definitely Risu, Nikaido confirmed it for me, but I --
[ And then (meme voice) ANOTHER ONE, just because I'm here to really hammer the nail in. But this one seems scattered, again as if seeing through bloodied waters, disorganized, chaotic. Is it a memory or a dream? It's hard to tell. But there's flashes, here and there, and that blonde man is prominent.
'My name is -- -- Risu !'
'I'm -- &!#&%& -- -- we're partners! --'
And Caiman makes a light pained noise as he shakes his head free of it, though it doesn't seem to be due to a headache, and more just -- he's sick of this. He's sick of finding out these fragments, that he doesn't know if it makes it better or worse.
But for a brief moment, as he buries his face in his hands, Mandricardo might -- he sees someone different, for a short moment. A trick of the eyes? Because in the next moment, as if he'd just imagined him, Caiman's as he's always been. Lizard head and all. ]
Fuck -- I don't know, I just don't know. I'm tired of this shit.
If only it was memshare, he could put words to the vague slight apology that's simmering there for Mandy about effectively having shoehorned him into playing baseball at first. But nah, dense lizard can't do complicated emotions. ]
If the thing about this being for show, and shit being scripted, and there's a daycare is true, maybe we can some time.
[ There's uncertainty, here. Just because, first off the notion of daycare is so weird -- when a human dies in Hole, they just stop existing. Probably. But also, the promise to bring him back after what happened?... ]
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[INTERNALLY GESTURES TO MEMSHARE???]
Um. So...what, is he gone? I mean, your eyes...
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...My eyes?
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...Your markings. The crosses. I don't see them.
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...?
[ Caiman raises a hand to his eyes -- though that's not like that's actually going to help him see this shit. But his expression clearly has a tinge of 'what?' to it. ]
My... crosses are gone?
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[YEAH SON THEY'RE HELLA GONE]
What does...the Cross Eye Gang mean? Like...what do those markings mean?
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I don't really know a whole lot about them [ yet ] but... they're a gang, in the Sorcerer's World. Weak guys... they sell black powder, which I think is some kinda drug.
[ ...He slowly shakes his head though. ] But I don't know if I was a part of them, I -- I don't think so?
[ And then -- Mandy will get a memory. It looks strange, like trying to look at it through bloody water, different from the first memory Mandy got. There's a shady building, and one, massive guy with blond spiky hair steps out of it with a suitcase. Another man, just about equally as large, stands up to greet him.
'Risu,' he calls out.
'Sorry, mate. I can't take you along today. I gotta head to Salmanazar Field alone.'
The other man quiets, staring contemplatively for a moment. His mask obscures his expression.
'Salmanazar Field... okay. But be careful, Risu. The Cross-Eyes can't be trusted... if you get in trouble, call me.'
He gets up and begins to walk away.
'You know you can count on me...'
---
And as he walks away, the memory fades with it. Leaving them both back to reality, and a vaguely surprised Caiman -- though he's quick to scowl a bit. ]
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[Was that............]
[Was that Caiman? Or rather...the man inside his head?]
[Is that man here right now?]
Do you remember that?
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[ He drops his gaze, grumbling. ]
It's been like that all week. Memories I don't really remember, or understand. Those two keep showing up in them.
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[A sigh. He looks away.]
Do you think the person you are right now and the man inside your mouth are different people? Or the same?
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[ He glances up at Mandy... ]
It's... it's some guy named Risu. Nikaido told me after she saw him.
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I wonder if he's takin' control from inside of you.
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I hope not. I may not know who the hell I am, or what I was, but this body is mine.
[ Said like he wasn't already searching for the guy anyway. ]
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[But considering he had loss of memory before...]
If that explained why you had memory loss and did the stuff you did, though, would you believe it? That it was that Risu guy inside of you.
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[ And then (meme voice) ANOTHER ONE, just because I'm here to really hammer the nail in. But this one seems scattered, again as if seeing through bloodied waters, disorganized, chaotic. Is it a memory or a dream? It's hard to tell. But there's flashes, here and there, and that blonde man is prominent.
'My name is --
-- Risu !'
'I'm -- &!#&%& --
-- we're partners! --'
And Caiman makes a light pained noise as he shakes his head free of it, though it doesn't seem to be due to a headache, and more just -- he's sick of this. He's sick of finding out these fragments, that he doesn't know if it makes it better or worse.
But for a brief moment, as he buries his face in his hands, Mandricardo might -- he sees someone different, for a short moment. A trick of the eyes? Because in the next moment, as if he'd just imagined him, Caiman's as he's always been. Lizard head and all. ]
Fuck -- I don't know, I just don't know. I'm tired of this shit.
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[...Huh?]
[What was that? Who...who was that?]
[He stares at Caiman for a very, very long moment.]
I think we're all tired of this shit. [He says, raising a hand to wipe at his eyes.] This is just weeks and weeks of nothing but shit.
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...Guess it's pointless now, but -- fuck, I really did want to play baseball with you guys.
[ Go to classes, talk stupid tasks, play sports. Live a perfect and peaceful school life. ]
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[Oh nooo...noooooo....NOO MY SWEET LIZARD]
....Yeah. I really wanted to do that, too.
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[ ...
If only it was memshare, he could put words to the vague slight apology that's simmering there for Mandy about effectively having shoehorned him into playing baseball at first. But nah, dense lizard can't do complicated emotions. ]
If the thing about this being for show, and shit being scripted, and there's a daycare is true, maybe we can some time.
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[He's a pessimist, and honestly things are looking down from here, but...]
We can...hope so. But either way...this is all so messed up.
[...]
If we find that daycare...we'll bring you back, okay?
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Only if it's everyone else, too.