[ He's going to keep crying, Mandricardo, but he will do his best to wipe the tears away. Unfortunately, he also passes a meomry without thinking. For some mood music, I have chosen Kainé Salvation (Acapella Ver.). claps cw: death on it.
You're in a white expanse, staring at a familiar body unconscious on the floor. You're here to save your little sister, Yonah, who was taken from you five years ago. It should have been simple. You only needed to go to the captor's castle and take her back, then why? How did it end like this? How is it that you've lost more climbing this castle? All you wanted to do was take back your reason for living. You wanted to be happy with your friends and family. Why?
You think back to the moment that touched your heart. Kainé and a floating skeleton with a young boy's voice both echoed that they won't let you and your Grimoire friend face your sister's captor alone. They would go with you because they are your friends, despite how you didn't want them to get hurt.
"Let's all come back alive," the young boy said at ground floor of the Lost Shrine.
You smiled then. You believed in his words. You all were going to live and come back. But things like this have never been easy. Your life has always been hard. You, Kainé, the skeleton boy, and your Grimoire ascended the shrine, then scoured the concrete castle.
It was difficult, but love got you all through. You are loved. It is the fortunate thing in your life... When your party was on the brink of dying, your friend—a king from another village—brought his men to fight with you. He told you, as the gate closed between the two of you:
"You must again know the joy of having the one you love by your side."
After him, your skeleton friend sacrificed himself to make sure you, Kainé, and your Grimoire friend can keep pushing. Then... Your Grimoire friend hit his limit. In the end, you did rescue your sister. It was finally over, you thought, but then Kainé. Kainé, unstable, lays before you on the verge of becoming a monster. You are going to lose her.
You wonder... If this was all worth it? You wonder if there was anything you could have done to stop this. Did your choice ever matter? Your heart is weak. Your heart is frail. You have always been weak and fragile. You will never be numb enough where this doesn't hurt. You cannot endure more loss.
The monster inside her tells you, "if you want to save Kainé, you need to give up your very existence."
Finally, you feel that you can make your own choice. It is your way of thanking the people who have died for loving you. It is your way of apologizing to them. It is your way of repaying your sins.
You also don't want to be alone.
You don't want to hurt anymore.
... You are tired of living.
You choose to give up your life, your existence, to save her.
[ He keeps patting Mandricardo. There are some emotions in there that he didn't really want people to know—basically the ones that spell out how weak and desperate her was, but... It's out there. There's nothing he can do. ]
...You can't come back from the dead. I can, but...
[He looks distant as he draws his head away to look up at Nier.]
That memory...I-I don't remember it. Like, I must have experienced it, but...every time a Servant dies and returns to the Throne of Heroes, they forget everything. So if I die here, I'd forget everyone here. That's...how it works.
[ MANDRICARDO! FORGETS HIS FRIEND!! That moment when it would have been better if Mandy died forever, I'm kidding. Nier is very torn because he's glad that Mandricardo doesn't... Die, but he also wonders if the man would be tired. Not that he would know, right? He wouldn't remember.
His eyebrows furrow, thinking more than he usual. ]
[He repeats again, but its a little more defeated. More exhausted. He's silent for a moment, before leaning his head against Nier's shoulder.]
...Y'know, I didn't think too much about it. But now...I really think it's cruel. Having to forget all of you.
[...]
I don't want to forget you.
[Because that's just insult to injury, even if he has no control over it in the first place. Just a guarantee that there will be another person who will never know the man that is Nier.]
[ He supports Mandricardo despite the tears, giving him a small squeeze as a reminder that they are both here. This place is real. Everyone they met, their memories, too. ]
This is why you have to do your best to live. [ SURVIVE TO ENDGAME. BEAT THE ODDS. ] It'd be too sad to be forgotten again.
... I also don't want you to be lonely. Without all these memories.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Maybe Nier lives close to the equator or... The earth is busted. ]
So it's kind of nice, aside from all the horrible stuff here.
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[And before I forget this is a memshare pc...here's a memory that interrupts him.]
[When it ends...Mandricardo just looks...blank?]
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Yeah, he's crying without making any sound. Help. ]
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[He blinks, looking confused, before seeing Nier. Panicked, he comes up to him, grasping his shoulders.]
Ah, Nier-! Nier, are you okay?
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You two are friends.
[ FOREVER!!!!!!!! ]
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I guess that was...a previous Master? Nier, there's...no need to cry over that...
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[ He's going to keep crying, Mandricardo, but he will do his best to wipe the tears away. Unfortunately, he also passes a meomry without thinking. For some mood music, I have chosen Kainé Salvation (Acapella Ver.). claps cw: death on it. Well. ]
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[What...]
[What was that...?]
[He's just gaping in shock at Nier for a long moment.]
[And then, wordlessly, he's just going in to hug the man.]
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I'm here.
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[He doesn't know what to say.]
[Nier going to his death, Nier doing it for those who threw their lives in for him, and then...Kainé.........]
...You died. Nier, you....you're dead?
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... Yeah, I'm basically dead.
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...I'm sorry. I'm sorry you...were feeling like that before it happened.
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It's fine. It's behind me now. [ They're genuine words. ] ... What about you? I remember you talking about being a spirit or something.
[ Is death final? ]
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[He looks distant as he draws his head away to look up at Nier.]
That memory...I-I don't remember it. Like, I must have experienced it, but...every time a Servant dies and returns to the Throne of Heroes, they forget everything. So if I die here, I'd forget everyone here. That's...how it works.
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Uhm.
He... Does not seem thrilled about that? Maybe the eyes are welling again because they're still in the moment. ]
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[nooOOO he looks a bit distressed but yeah HE FORGOT THAT WHOLE FRIEND DEAL COMPLETELY]
D-Don't cry, please...you shouldn't cry over me...that's how a Servant works...
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His eyebrows furrow, thinking more than he usual. ]
... Forgetting is...
[ So sad. Says the man that was forgotten. ]
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[He repeats again, but its a little more defeated. More exhausted. He's silent for a moment, before leaning his head against Nier's shoulder.]
...Y'know, I didn't think too much about it. But now...I really think it's cruel. Having to forget all of you.
[...]
I don't want to forget you.
[Because that's just insult to injury, even if he has no control over it in the first place. Just a guarantee that there will be another person who will never know the man that is Nier.]
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This is why you have to do your best to live. [ SURVIVE TO ENDGAME. BEAT THE ODDS. ] It'd be too sad to be forgotten again.
... I also don't want you to be lonely. Without all these memories.