[He shrugs his shoulders up, bashful, but then his expression settles, and he just seems...distant. When he speaks, it's like he's reciting something.]
"There is nothing that suggests that in order to escape this place, we must love everyone equally."
[And a sigh.]
I feel like I've kept doing so much for everyone else that I looked over the fact that people did a lot of stuff that hurt me, even if it wasn't on purpose. I don't know. I don't...hate anyone here. Not really. But it's hard to look at some people the same way again.
... That's true. If you grew to dislike anyone, I think you'd be valid.
[ If anyone came out hating me, I'd accept it. There are also plenty of others he thinks are allowed to be forgiven. The mafia, despite all their lying, has gained his forgiveness at the very least... It isn't much, though. ]
Did you tell them about how you felt?
[ IS NIER SUDDENLY A THERAPIST, no. He's just... He wants to make sure Mandricardo is okay and if he has to ask a little more, then he will. ]
[also adds this thought Why would...anyone hate you...?]
...I did to Beau, weeks ago. But at the time, I think I messed it up. And I just...talked about how I didn't want to hurt her with my own emotions. And she said that was okay, it wasn't a competition, but...
[A beat.]
I think that was wrong. I mean...to see her goin' around with Otome like...she had done nothin' at all. That she didn't kill Wang Lu. That they both could have everything they wanted, and nobody dared to complain, and I was just...supposed to let it happen after seeing my boyfriend dead on a table. And Otome herself...
[He's just uncomfortable, now. It's hard, to talk about this mess of emotions.]
And now...I just feel maybe it's better for them that I don't get involved at all.
Yeah... That's tough. [ I understood why they went ahead with it, considering I thought Otome's days were numbered, but—he rubs his neck and sighs. ] I felt the same way with Byleth. I would have been angry for a long time.
It seemed like... We could just look the other way and absolve everything because it's for the greater good when we didn't know if it was true. I wanted to believe in the daycare, but I remembered the pain of each Friday when we get that notification. Suffering doesn't get erased just because people return. Consequences should be expected, including people's disdain for taking their loved ones.
[ Nier has made his peace with the mafia, because he cared more about bringing people back. ]
On Friday, I was going to ask you if you felt killing Sakyou's killer would have been justified, even if they were from that group. If life mattered so little that we could overlook it, it won't be too terrible to lose another killer.
[ Also, Nier is just biased? Because? He cared about Sakyou deeply? ]
Yeah. Yeah. And like, for a while, we didn't know daycare was even a thing. As far as we know, people stayed dead. And that was that.
[It's terrible, because Mandricardo still feels so deeply guilty about going against the grain. A part of him still wants to stuff everything down, play nice, because wouldn't that be better? Wouldn't everyone just be happy with him again?]
[Sakyou's killer...]
Hm. [And he frowns at that, deeply.] Were you? Well. I was angry, honestly, underneath everything. And I think I would agree with you. If they could make choices on who to kill...then it wouldn't be too much trouble to accept the consequences, right?
{It's an ugly thought, and he glances away.]
...But I promised Sakyou that I would never kill out of revenge. I wanted justice, of course. I've wanted justice throughout this whole thing.
[A beat.]
Everyone trying to protect their loved ones, and...you know, if Wang Lu had killed? I would have voted for him. I would have hated it. But...isn't that what the trials were for? To catch killers to keep us all safe? Maybe they were never about that in the first place.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w6 sunday
...So I heard you saved Denji. [A beat.] Thank you.
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[ He sighs. ]
Everyone was willing to vote out most of the killers, so it was... Hard.
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I can't imagine the pressure you had to be under, Nier. I'm sorry.
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It's fine. I could have done more, but I also believe everyone had their right to judge how they saw fit.
[ ... ]
People were still in pain.
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[He's just going in for a hug.]
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We got everyone back, Mandricardo.
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[I'm so happy.]
We did.
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[ Only a small squeeze so Mandricardo doesn't start BLEEDING. ]
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[I only had my face and hand hurt for the most part???]
Okay...?
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Thanks, Nier.
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[ It's hard to imagine Summer without you. ]
What are you going to do now? With everyone back—before we have to fight whatever we have to fight.
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[You deserve all the best, Nier. You're a good friend, and you care so much, and...you worked so hard. You really are always someone to look up to.]
Um. Catch up with people. And just make sure...people know my memories. And listen to others. Because I'm...I'm scared, honestly.
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Of what's to come?
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I don't want us gettin' sucked into this whole mess. And forgettin' who we are.
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[ Okay, no more hugging. ]
Are things okay with everyone? You went through a lot.
[ With Byleth, Otome, Beauregard, Wang Lu... ]
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[Sometimes legends involve you fighting Big Giant Monsters.]
Um. [And he casts his gaze aside.] I don't know. And I don't...know if I want to find out.
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[ He laughs. Giant monsters easier to handle. ]
Mm... I don't know if we'll see each other again after we get everything done, so it would be your last chance. Not that I'm pressuring you.
[ He ruffles Mandricardo's hair. ]
If you don't want to, then you don't want to.
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[He shrugs his shoulders up, bashful, but then his expression settles, and he just seems...distant. When he speaks, it's like he's reciting something.]
"There is nothing that suggests that in order to escape this place, we must love everyone equally."
[And a sigh.]
I feel like I've kept doing so much for everyone else that I looked over the fact that people did a lot of stuff that hurt me, even if it wasn't on purpose. I don't know. I don't...hate anyone here. Not really. But it's hard to look at some people the same way again.
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[ If anyone came out hating me, I'd accept it. There are also plenty of others he thinks are allowed to be forgiven. The mafia, despite all their lying, has gained his forgiveness at the very least... It isn't much, though. ]
Did you tell them about how you felt?
[ IS NIER SUDDENLY A THERAPIST, no. He's just... He wants to make sure Mandricardo is okay and if he has to ask a little more, then he will. ]
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...I did to Beau, weeks ago. But at the time, I think I messed it up. And I just...talked about how I didn't want to hurt her with my own emotions. And she said that was okay, it wasn't a competition, but...
[A beat.]
I think that was wrong. I mean...to see her goin' around with Otome like...she had done nothin' at all. That she didn't kill Wang Lu. That they both could have everything they wanted, and nobody dared to complain, and I was just...supposed to let it happen after seeing my boyfriend dead on a table. And Otome herself...
[He's just uncomfortable, now. It's hard, to talk about this mess of emotions.]
And now...I just feel maybe it's better for them that I don't get involved at all.
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Yeah... That's tough. [ I understood why they went ahead with it, considering I thought Otome's days were numbered, but—he rubs his neck and sighs. ] I felt the same way with Byleth. I would have been angry for a long time.
It seemed like... We could just look the other way and absolve everything because it's for the greater good when we didn't know if it was true. I wanted to believe in the daycare, but I remembered the pain of each Friday when we get that notification. Suffering doesn't get erased just because people return. Consequences should be expected, including people's disdain for taking their loved ones.
[ Nier has made his peace with the mafia, because he cared more about bringing people back. ]
On Friday, I was going to ask you if you felt killing Sakyou's killer would have been justified, even if they were from that group. If life mattered so little that we could overlook it, it won't be too terrible to lose another killer.
[ Also, Nier is just biased? Because? He cared about Sakyou deeply? ]
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[It's terrible, because Mandricardo still feels so deeply guilty about going against the grain. A part of him still wants to stuff everything down, play nice, because wouldn't that be better? Wouldn't everyone just be happy with him again?]
[Sakyou's killer...]
Hm. [And he frowns at that, deeply.] Were you? Well. I was angry, honestly, underneath everything. And I think I would agree with you. If they could make choices on who to kill...then it wouldn't be too much trouble to accept the consequences, right?
{It's an ugly thought, and he glances away.]
...But I promised Sakyou that I would never kill out of revenge. I wanted justice, of course. I've wanted justice throughout this whole thing.
[A beat.]
Everyone trying to protect their loved ones, and...you know, if Wang Lu had killed? I would have voted for him. I would have hated it. But...isn't that what the trials were for? To catch killers to keep us all safe? Maybe they were never about that in the first place.
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